Our first night!

We brought the babies home from the hospital yesterday! We have a co-sleeper for them to sleep in that's next to me. Tim brought them up one at a time ( i can't lift too much) and put them in the co-sleeper. Zane, our resident puker decided to spit up and freak himself and me out! Thank God we had the sucker (ball syringe) and were able to suck the formula out of his mouth. But, he had something stuck in his nose too. Our first successful bugger extraction! He didn't even mind having the sucker stuffed into his little nostril. Whew, first tragedy avoided! But....I was nervous the rest of the night so I didn't sleep much. Around the 3am feeding, Tim was changing Zane and he had pooped...BUT he was still pooping when Tim switched the diapers and all of a sudden Tim says "He just shat" and I look over and it's still coming out all over the changing pad cover!! I started to laugh uncontrollably and it still hurts my abdomen to laugh. Tim asks for help and I jump up to help him. He gets poop on his hand and freaks out. I grab Zane and clean the poop off the cover and Tim rushes to the bathroom to wash his hands. Oy! (I'm still laughing right now as I type this)

Later Zane peed himself and I had to go downstairs for a new gown and a new blanket. He did that twice! He also pooped again and Charlie followed his example and pooped around 5am. Wowzas! Boogies, poop, pee, outfit changes, spit up.....all on the first night?!?!? Really! Not sure if I should be worried about what might happen tonight!

The big day!

July 20th was the big day! My C Section wasn't scheduled until 8pm and we had to be there at 6. I had to stop drinking and eating 8 hours prior to my arrival time. No water, gum or candy. That was brutal. Tim and I just sat here all day looking at each other :)

We got to the hospital, did all the fun intake paperwork and went back to a room before I went into surgery. They put monitors on the babies and to track if I was having contractions. The anaesthesiologist came in to give me the details of the giant needle and what I should expect once we got into the delivery room. About and hour after we were there the nurse realized that I had my toe rings on and were concerned that when my feet swelled up afterward they could be a problem and I could possibly lose my toe!! OMG! So, I tried to get them off. Tim tried to get them off. Dr. Grayson tried to get them off. Nothing! We finally had to call someone from the ER with a little circular saw to come and cut them off my toe. It was hilarious! It took almost 30 minutes but it took my mind off what was about to happen.

I got to see my family and friends before I went in which helped a lot! Tim got these stylish paper greens to wear that were crusty and bright blue! They wheeled me into the OR and sat me on the side of the bed to do the epidural/anaesthesia injection. What an enormous needle! Quite painful but over very quickly. There were about 12 people in the room with us; a team from the NICU for each baby, nurses, doctor and the anaesthesiologists. I couldn't feel anything but a slight tugging which was very strange. Tim stood up and watched the entire thing! I was watching his eyes for his reaction and it was freaking me out! He said it was all very cool! When they cut me open the doc commented on how little fat I had around my abdomen and I chimed in with "flip me over, it's all on my ass" It was weird to be laying there behind a curtain being cut open while having a conversation with the doc and nurses. Doctor Grayson peeked over the curtain to talk to me a handful of times just to check on me and tell me what was going on.

Tim got to see them take each baby out and cut their cords. Zane (Baby A) came out pretty quickly, but Charlie (Baby B) didn't want to come out. He was feet first and ass up! They actually laughed. I could feel and hear the doc tugging to get him out. Tim got to leave with the babies to the NICU but the neo-natologist told us first that they were doing well!! Just a precaution for preemies. It took the doc and nurses about 30 min to put me back together again. I got to listen to them talk while they worked. The anaesthesiologist has gout and is building a car. They spoke just like any group of people who work together on a regular basis. When it was over they told me how great it all went and how I did a wonderful job. They took me back to recovery and I waited for Tim or anyone to come and see me and no one did. I sat back there with the nurse for over an hour! He was with the babies and taking people one at a time to see them. I did get some ice to chew on and was thrilled about that. I didn't have any side effects of the drugs and the nurses were amazed that I was eating cups of ice and drinking water. I was told I was a model patient! I got to see the babies before I went to my room which was very weird!! It was better than I expected and a wonderful, cool experience! The most painful thing about the entire thing was cutting the damn toe rings off!!

24 hours and counting!

This is the last 24 hours of my pregnancy! I'm very nervous for my c-section and just trying to relax and rest. I really did enjoy being pregnant and I believe I will miss certain aspects of it.

I'll miss.....

Feeling them move
Growing two miracles inside me
Having weekly ultrasounds and seeing them grow
Not having to do dishes at my moms house :)


I won't miss.....

Having to pee every hour all day and night
The first trimester acne
Heartburn and acid reflux
Being hot (hoping my body temp goes back to normal)
Worrying that they are ok in there

I can still....

Tie my shoes
Shave my legs
Wear my rings

and I still have ankles!

34 weeks

I had my last ob/gyn appt. today and BPP. The babies and the fluid look good! One of them is still smaller but the doc isn't too worried. We are on for Monday night!! That's less than a week. OMG! I'm excited and nervous and totally freaked out! The doc answered my c section questions so I feel better about that part. We have to wait until they are born to see if they will need to be in the nursery during our hospital stay. If so, Tim or I will have to escort people into the nursery to see the boys. They will be in a room with out windows so no one can even just go look. :( I'm hoping they won't be in there long so they can be in the room with me! Otherwise there are going be a lot of unhappy friends that will have to wait until we bring them home.

33 weeks

I had my 33 week doctor appt and growth ultrasound yesterday. One of the boys is taking slight advantage of the other (their weights differ by 7 oz) The doc isn't very concerned, but this isn't wonderful news. We are going to keep doing what we are doing with my weekly ultrasounds and non stress tests and hope and pray that they behave for the next 2 weeks. So, it looks like July 20th is the day! I'll be 35 weeks and as long as everything goes well until then, everything should be good! The only concern is that the babies need to regulate their own temperature or they will not be able to come home right away. We don't want that. :(

Good news: No preterm labor. I'm feeling pretty good and getting lots of rest. The doc says to keep swimming and stay hydrated.

My dad and sister came with me to the ultrasound. He's never seen one and I think he really enjoyed it. They also talked to the doc with me. I always like others to hear what I hear so I don't make shit up! Except my dad got to hear the question " Any vaginal discharge" HA. poor guy :)

32 weeks

Doctor appointments are now once a week, thank God. Next week I'll be having another fetal fibronectin test for preterm labor and since the test is good for 2 weeks, that brings me to the 20th. So, I may know my c section date next Tuesday! WOO HOO! I was also told by the doc that I need to eat more food and drink more caloric beverages. Never thought that would happen!! It's hot as hell here and I can't eat a lot at one sitting, but I am eating. Not sure why I haven't gained any weight in the last few weeks. But, I'm trying to eat more and drink more since it's better for the babies.

It's very real now and I'm getting very nervous!!

Maternity Triage - 30 weeks

So, we made our first and hopefully last visit to the maternity triage center. I was having my weekly NST and they said I was having contractions. I didn't feel anything at all, but they called to check with the doc anyway. She sent me over to triage to get checked out. Of course it was the first week that I went to the appt by myself! Since I wasn't in any pain I drove myself (it's only 2 seconds away) But, I had to call Tim and tell him to come to the hospital in the calmest possible way. I checked myself in and sat and waited. It only took Tim 15 minutes to get there and when he did I was hooked up to the fetal heart monitors and the contraction monitor. He looked frazzled and I was totally freaked out. Neither one of us has been through this before and had no idea what was going to happen. She explained the tests they were going to do. The fetal fibronectin, check my cervix and monitor me for a while.

Fetal fibronectin - they take a swab to check for the absense of this protein which indicates with a 99% accuracy that you're not in preterm labor. They use a giant cotton swab to swab the inside of your business. Kicker is, they have to leave it in there for one minute. OY! Before she did the test she asked if we'd had sex in the last 24 hours (apparently, that can cause a false positive) I answered "Um, no. Not in the last 4 weeks" and of course, Tim had a comment from behind the curtain.

Cervix check - ok, this one I know but since I was all hooked up to monitors and laying on my left side on a horrible bed with no stirrups I wasn't sure how the exam was going to happen. Let me tell you, this was very, very painful! She laid the bed back and I had to hold my leg up while she attempted to reach my cervix. In that position the cervix is far away and in a weird ass angle. Needless to say was she could not reach it and had to call another nurse in to try. So, I had to endure this fun twice! The second nurse tried harder and that hurt worse. She could barely find it which turned into a good thing since it obviously wasn't dilated at all.

Tim stayed behind the curtain for all this fun. I could just see his shoes and he could hear me in pain. Definitely not something I'm looking forward to repeating.

While we waited for the results of the test we just sat there and looked at each other. Every few minutes the alarm would sound that one baby moved and was no longer on the heart monitor. They'd come in and find him and leave. After about an hour of that, the first nurse came back in with a small needle. Terbutaline. She said "it's a small needle, but I hear it has a big sting." It's used to stop contractions altogether and if it works quickly it means no preterm labor and I get to go home. Well, mother effer! She wasn't kidding about the sting. I couldn't tell which was worse the cervix check or the shot. Ugh! Within 5 minutes I was jumpy and shaking. Fun side effects of the shot.

15 minutes later she came back with the results. Contractions stopped, fetal fibronectin negative. Woo hoo! She was sending us home! She said that she thought the doc was being overly cautious since I wasn't in any pain, wasn't bleeding or leaking fluid, but the doc said to do the tests so they have to do them. She said "we'd like to keep you pregnant for another 5 weeks." Exactly what we were thinking!

So, after 2 hours I was totally fine. Wasn't in labor and the babies weren't in any danger. Thank God!

29 weeks - Big NEWS!

I had my 29 week appointments this week. Another Biophysical Profile and an appointment with my doctor. Babies are doing very well! No growth updates until next week but I got to see Baby A put his toes in his mouth and Baby B suck his thumb. So damn cute! Lisa had to measure the foot when it was up by his mouth because it looked huge; it's 2 inches. Wowzas!

Not quite as funny as seeing Baby A grab his "boy parts" as Lisa calls them. My mom was there last week to witness that one! They sure do start early :)

My glucose tolerance test came back normal as did my iron and a few other things. The doc is very pleased with how the pregnancy is going and I have to agree :) We also talked about possible c section dates. We'll know more in a few weeks but it looks like they will be coming early. Our 2 tentative dates are July 20th or 30th!! OMG!!! The doc said that once the lungs are formed there isn't any reason for me to stay pregnant. That's good and bad news. We are NOT ready. They don't have names and the nursery is not done. It's making me very anxious! But, at least I won't have to worry those last few weeks.

And the fun begins!

Starting this week I have to go to the doctor twice a week to monitor the boys. Tuesday's to my doctors office for the Biophysical Profile(measures heart rate, movement, fluid, muscle tone and breathing) and Friday's to the hospital for the Non Stress Test. It's all very cool. Gotta love preventative medicine! I love that I don't have time to worry about them because I go so often, but I still worry every time I go that something will go wrong or be bad. Will the worry ever end?!?!

The other day, I drove myself completely insane worrying about having contractions. I wasn't even having any, but the books say that you should be paying attention to them. So, I laid on my side and kept my hand on my belly to see how many times in an hour it got hard. Problem is, when you push on the babies they push back so my belly got hard. I wasn't having any symptoms of ANYTHING, but I was driving myself out of my mind. I wanted to stab myself and get it over with! Tim isn't allowed to work until 9pm anymore. I can't be left alone that long with my own thoughts!

Registering

So, I finally registered and it wasn't as fun as it thought it would be. It was too overwhelming; there's just so much stuff to look at. But, at least it's over and I got a good parking spot :)

thanks Meg, Kristyn and Mom!

Awe, Baby Gifts!

Timmy bought our first Denver Bronco baby gifts. They are so damn cute! He seemed really excited and it made it all feel a little more real.

24 weeks!

Wow, time flies!

I had my 24 week ultrasound appt. today. I brought my mom with me this time since Tim was at work. It went really well. Babies are growing perfectly. Each weighing a pound and a half and right on track. Moving around like crazy and posing for more pics!

Ultrasound tech: Did you come up with names yet?

Me: Nope. Tim doesn't like anything

Ultrasound tech: Still? Haha.

Then she told my mom the story of when she told us we were having twins. She remembered our shock and also the shock of finding out they are 2 boys. I love that she remembers us! My mom was pretty excited to see them in action. I think she cried; I know I did. She already thinks they are cute!

We got to see one of the babies open it's mouth and swallow. It's so bizarre.

Me: Tim thinks it's gross that they swallow the amniotic fluid

Ultrasound tech: Tell Tim that he did it too. Every baby does.

Me: I did and I told him that's how they learn to swallow.

Ultrasound tech: Does Tim know they are also swallowing baby urine?

Me: Um, NO. I don't share that much with him. He doesn't need to know :) You should have seen his reaction to the vaginal discharge section of the book. HA!

She laughed, of course :)

My Boys!

The pros of having 2 boys:

They can’t get pregnant (this was Tim's)
We don’t have to pay for a wedding
No teenage girl drama
I never have to lift anything heavy again
I can leave on Sunday and let them all watch football
I get to call them and Tim, “My boys!” ?(this is the best one!)

The cons of having 2 boys:

I don’t get to buy girlie clothes and shoes
I never get to buy anything purple, pink, or yellow or with cute flowers on it
I don’t get to pass on my make up tips
I don't get to be Mother of the Bride

Oh Boys!

We had another ultrasound this week where we found out the sex of the babies. Since we already knew that one was a boy, we were hopeful that the other would be a girl. Since it was our 19 week ultrasound it was very detailed. She checked the hearts to make sure there were 4 chambers, the blood flow around the bladders, measured the heads, femurs and arm bones for growth. It was a wonderful, amazing experience. They were moving around like crazy! Kicking, punching, moving their hands. We even saw Baby B move his mouth. One of them curls up in a ball with his hands by his head like me and the other stretched out with his feet crossed like Tim.

Ultrasound technician: Ok, let’s see what we can find out. Ah, there it is.
Me: What?
Ultrasound technician: The penis.
Me: Oh. Is that what that is?

While we were looking at the skull of Baby A, Baby B decided to move in and flash us. Yep, you guessed it; another penis.

Tim: YAY!
Me: Son of a bitch!
Ultrasound Technician: Awe, you guys are so funny!
Tim: Woo hoo! (I think he actually did a dance)
Me: Oh, shut up!
Ultrasound Technician: 2 boys! You’ll love it
Me: Sure, they won’t help do any housework and when they grow up they will leave and never call their mother
Ultrasound Technician: My brother is 39 and he calls my mother every day
Me: Not that I don’t trust you and think you are great at your job, but what are the chances that one will end up being a girl?
Ultrasound Technician: …Um, none. They are boys

At first I was upset. We wanted one of each. I’ve had time to get used to it and it’s growing on me. I’m just so happy that they are healthy and growing well! That’s all I was really praying for. And, not only are they both boys, they are identical. Wow! Somehow, we went from not wanting kids, to getting pregnant the first time, to twins, to the rarest form of twins - Two Boys! God is smiling and laughing at us!

Who says doctors aren't comedians?

I had my 19 week appt with the doc last week. My doctor, who has been my ob/ gyn for 15 years, thinks he’s funny too! Not only does he still laugh and say “twins!” when he sees me, he was looking at my weight gain and made this comment:

Doc: Try to watch the caloric beverage intake

Me: Um, I don’t drink anything that has calories

Doc: Oh, I was trying to be delicate and start with something easy

Me: It’s ok. I know. I gained 4 pounds in one week. It wasn’t juice. It was ribs, fish sticks, a hamburger and sweet potato french fries

He isn’t really concerned about my weight gain overall, just that I put on 10 pounds since last time I saw him. Come on, the babies got bigger too :) Plus, I was wearing more clothes this visit.
I had a hard time with the amount of calories I was told to consume for the babies. The 300 each. I panicked one week and thought I wasn’t eating enough. Obviously I was wrong! But, now I know and have been doing fine. Not gaining more than a pound a week if that. I’m still eating enough for the babies to get what they want, but not indulging in all the things I haven’t eaten in 8 years in a weeks time. Who says weight watchers doesn’t get in your head?

People Suck

I know, I am always saying how much I hate people but it's true. Just when I think they are ok some stupid person opens up their mouth and says something to remind me why I hate people.

For example:

The stupid check out girl at Motherhood: So, you're carrying twins? (my mother told everyone in the store) They did tell you that you will be much bigger than if you were carrying one baby, right? So you should be fine with your bottoms, but you will need bigger shirts for later.

Me: Um, yes, I think I've figured that out.

The stupid check out girl at Motherhood: Do you work?

Me: (confused at her question) Yes.

The stupid bitch at Motherhood: Oh, because I notice that you are only buying casual clothes and I was just curious why you didn't get anything business attire.

Me: Well lucky for me I get to wear jeans and t-shirts to work (insert my fake smile).

The stupid bitch at Motherhood: Oh, that's great!

Even my mother wanted to reach across the counter and smack her.

~~~~~~

I'm 18 weeks pregnant and not really that big yet and I work with only 5 other people. All men. Well, boys is what I usually call them. The oldest one, who is married and has a few daughters actually said this to me last week:

Him: Wow, you're already waddling like you're pregnant

Me: Um, nope, my back is just hurting a little this morning.

Him: Oh! So, you've gained what? 15 pounds?

Me: Fuck you. (and I walked away)

See - stupid people everywhere. I wonder how they survive.

Maternity Shopping!

I finally went maternity clothes shopping. My mom and I made a day of it; shopping and lunch. We went to RA where I ate pretend sushi. I miss sushi! I miss saki too :) Anyway, then we were off shopping! This was the best day I've had shopping since I was a little girl (except the day I found my wedding dress). I tried on tons of clothes and wasn't the least bit upset if I had to ask for a larger size! Ususally that would make me cry. So what if I fit into an XL. I also fit into a L. Just depends on the fit and the store. I also realized that they make really, really ugly maternity shirts. What's with the bright, floral shit? It's just horrible. I stuck with black, white, and red and mostly just t shirts. I did buy a few dressy shirts just for fun. AND, I found a bikini top big enough to fit my F's and it has underwire. I was jumping up and down at Sears! I ended up with about 10 pair of pants and 4 or 5 shirts. I'm really excited to have clothes that fit my growing belly.

Thank you, MOM!

Kissing My Waistline Goodbye!

I've made it 15 weeks and am still in my own clothes. But, sad to say, they are a little tight around the belly so it's time to do some shopping! I've struggled with my weight my entire life but for some reason I've always had a flat stomach and an un-natural waist line :) Well, those days are over and yes, it is a little sad and weird, but also very exciting. Right now it just looks like I had too many beers and wings, but hopefully soon it will look more like what it's supposed to look like!

Of course, the loving husband had to put his two cents in, "You are going to get back to what you looked like before you got pregnant right after the babies are born, right?!?" Oh yes, honey. I'll get right on that while I'm trying to take care of 2 babies and you.


Thank you AJ for the bellyband, I can breathe much easier today because of it!

Men say stupid things sometimes

My husband, Tim, is a really great person. He’s smart, loving, good looking, laid back, even tempered and sweet. But, he is not funny. Here are a few things that my supportive husband said to me this week:


Are you going to get post-partum depression? Well, if you do, can you stop it before it happens? (sure thing, honey, I’ll just meditate really hard and stop the surge of hormone’s)

I was talking about not wanting to go into labor at work because I work with a bunch of guys and I’m worried they won’t be calm enough to get me to the hospital.
I said, “I guess I can just call an ambulance”
Tim said “Hell no, do you know how expensive that is. You can just drive yourself”
Me “WTF? You’re fucking kidding right?”
Tim “No, it’s not like it’s going to hurt that badly at the beginning, you can just drive yourself”

I continue to argue the facts about how the contractions hit every 20, 10, 5 minutes or whatever and that if I’m driving I could crash and kill myself. He stands firm that I should drive myself because the pain won’t be that bad. I can just suck it up and suffer until I get there. In the movies, the women don’t look like they are in too much pain. REALLY? In the movies? Wow. Maybe I should move 'smart' farther down the list. Poor Timmy. Anyone want to volunteer to drive me to the hospital?

Thoughts from my Grandfather

My mom made dinner for the family last week and I was kind of complaining that I had to eat my steak cooked all the way through. Ok, i was REALLY complaining about it. I very rarely eat red meat so when I do, I want it very pink. Well cooked beef just doesn't taste the same. But, I know that you can't eat rare beef when you are pregnant and I need the protein, so I ate it. I complained the entire time. My poor family. Anyway, my grandparents are visiting and were lucky enough to be a part of this dinner conversation. I must have said something about having 2 babies (yes, I'm still in shock), and my grandfather who is a very loving, sweet, spiritual, funny man had something to say. He said "Kara Mia, this is what I think, God has a plan for everyone and I believe that He gave you this blessing because he wasn't sure that you would ever go through this again". My grandfather is a very smart man!

Twin Pregnancy Research

Since I had no idea I was having 2 babies I didn’t do any reading on it. I actually skipped those sections of the pregnancy websites that I came across, thinking that’s not me…..Well, now I had to go back and find all those links and see what new information I needed to learn. I was freaked that I went 12 weeks not knowing and how much harm did that cause. That fear only lasted a few hours and then I reminded myself that I was taking pretty good care of my body. Eating the right things, drinking my gallon of water a day(which is harder than it sounds), taking my vitamins, exercising, and eating my extra 300 calories a day.

So, what new information did I find out about being pregnant with 2 babies?

More calcium (1200 mg a day. That’s 4 glasses of milk. Gross, I don’t drink milk. But, I do eat cheese and cottage cheese and take a supplement)

Eat between 90 and 120 grams of protein. (That’s a lot of protein and since I don’t eat fish and can’t have lunch meat, and have to eat red meat fully cooked –nasty - this one is going to be hard to do.)

More iron (and more iron means more constipation – woo hoo!)

Gain 10 more pounds than I originally thought (between 35-45) I guess this one is good and bad :)

Eat 6 servings of fruit and veggies a day. Since the only thing I have a craving for is fruit, this one I can do!

Eat 600 more calories a day (This sounds awesome until you realize that 600 calories is very easy to eat. And they say to stay away from “empty calories” yeah, ok.)

The day I found out all this new info I went out to eat and had Fish and Chips. The babies LOVE Fish and Chips :P

Our 1st ultrasound

We had our first ultrasound yesterday. We went in to meet the technician and this is how the appointment went:

Technician “Hi, how are you both doing?”

Kara “Good, you?”

Tim “Good”

Technician “Are you having any issues with your pregnancy so far?”

Kara “Just the uterus stretching. That’s fun!”

Technician “ Yeah, that is fun :). Please lay down flat and we’ll get started. Tim, you can sit if you like” (He stood)

Technician “Is this your first ultrasound?”

Kara “Yes”

Technician “Um, You’re having 2 babies”

Kara “What?!?!?”

Tim” ….”

Technician “You’re having 2 babies!”

Kara “ Shit.”

Tim. “….”

Technician “I never get to surprise people! Are you ok?”

Kara “Fuck”

Tim “….”

Technician “ Are you guys ok?!?”

Kara “No.”

Tim “ It’s hot as fuck in here”

Technician “Ok, I’ll put the fan on”


Meanwhile, during this conversation we are both just staring at the big screen TV looking at our babies with our mouths open. Babies?! Are you kidding me?! I was actually glad that I could tell what I was looking at. I had flashbacks of Rachel on friends “I can’t see my baby!” You could see them very, very clearly. 2 sacs. 2 heads. 2 heartbeats. Shit.

Tim “This means 2 college funds “

Kara “This means 2 of everything. Fuck.”

Technician “This is great news you guys! Congrats!"

Technician “They look great. Everything is developing just as it should”

Kara “ Wow.”

Tim “ Shit. “

Kara “Our mother’s cursed us by teasing it was twins. We are no longer speaking to either of them. Ever. “

Tim “Yeah “

Now, this is good advice!

Watch as many movies with Tim
Snuggle/lay around with him
Go to the movie theater
Sleep in
Enjoy going places with only your purse to carry.
Enjoy eating your dinner whilst it is still warm.


thanks, heather lee! :)

Why don’t your friends tell you these things?

So, now that I’m newly pregnant I’ve become obsessed with reading every pregnancy website (even though they say pretty much the same things). What I want to know is why didn’t my pregnant friends tell me the really interesting parts. Were they trying not to scare me? I’m not talking about all the fun stuff that happens in the delivery room; I’ve been in there. It can be nasty, but you don’t think about it. You’re too consumed with the brand new life on the horizon. I’m talking about the extra “fluids”, the acne, the gas. Extra saliva? Really? What can you do about that besides totally gross out my husband? My drooling before wasn't bad enough now I have extra? Come on! The rash? The extra snot? Wow. I can't eat carrots anymore either. Thank God you can take gas ex when you're pregnant. Maybe my friends were just trying not to scare me. What else do I have to look forward to? I think I'm scared now!

11 weeks

I’m almost out of my first trimester. Wow, where does the time go? The baby is the size of a lime this week and getting fingernails. Very cool information. Isn’t it funny how as soon as people find out you are pregnant they have words of advice for you. Or should I say patronizing statements to share:

“You’re going to breastfeed, right?”
“You know you can’t eat that right?”
“You do know that you’re not supposed to sleep on your back after your first trimester”
“You’re not going to find out the sex of the baby are you?”
“Really, that’s the name you have picked out?”

WTF? They aren’t really words of advice, nor are they encouraging at all. I’m not a moron, I think I know some of the things you aren’t supposed to do and the rest I read when I found out I was pregnant. Since I’m new at this, I do appreciate the advice. If it can be given to me as such. Um, not like the above. I’ve already snapped at a few close friends and family for the above statements. I might not breastfeed. That does NOT make me a horrible person. Yes, I know I can’t drink, smoke, do drugs, eat soft cheese, sushi or fish high in mercury. Yes, we want to know the sex of the baby. My question to you is, why didn’t you want to know? And, yes, we can and will name our child whatever the hell we want. I do not care if you like the name or not. You have children, you got your chance to name them, keep your opinions to yourself. Oh, thanks for caring!

Knocked Up

So, I’ve found myself in the “family way” and I’m pretty excited. I’m not scared yet. I’m too worried about what foods I can’t effing eat now. Every day it’s something new. Sushi I understand. Unpasteurized cheese, ok. But lunch meat? Come on. This coming from a perpetual weight watchers client who has been eating Boar’s Head lunch meat sandwiches everyday for lunch for 7 years. Now, I have to come up with new and exciting things to eat for lunch. Oh, and it’s pretty much trial and error as to which will make me want to hurl!