My Boys!

The pros of having 2 boys:

They can’t get pregnant (this was Tim's)
We don’t have to pay for a wedding
No teenage girl drama
I never have to lift anything heavy again
I can leave on Sunday and let them all watch football
I get to call them and Tim, “My boys!” ?(this is the best one!)

The cons of having 2 boys:

I don’t get to buy girlie clothes and shoes
I never get to buy anything purple, pink, or yellow or with cute flowers on it
I don’t get to pass on my make up tips
I don't get to be Mother of the Bride

Oh Boys!

We had another ultrasound this week where we found out the sex of the babies. Since we already knew that one was a boy, we were hopeful that the other would be a girl. Since it was our 19 week ultrasound it was very detailed. She checked the hearts to make sure there were 4 chambers, the blood flow around the bladders, measured the heads, femurs and arm bones for growth. It was a wonderful, amazing experience. They were moving around like crazy! Kicking, punching, moving their hands. We even saw Baby B move his mouth. One of them curls up in a ball with his hands by his head like me and the other stretched out with his feet crossed like Tim.

Ultrasound technician: Ok, let’s see what we can find out. Ah, there it is.
Me: What?
Ultrasound technician: The penis.
Me: Oh. Is that what that is?

While we were looking at the skull of Baby A, Baby B decided to move in and flash us. Yep, you guessed it; another penis.

Tim: YAY!
Me: Son of a bitch!
Ultrasound Technician: Awe, you guys are so funny!
Tim: Woo hoo! (I think he actually did a dance)
Me: Oh, shut up!
Ultrasound Technician: 2 boys! You’ll love it
Me: Sure, they won’t help do any housework and when they grow up they will leave and never call their mother
Ultrasound Technician: My brother is 39 and he calls my mother every day
Me: Not that I don’t trust you and think you are great at your job, but what are the chances that one will end up being a girl?
Ultrasound Technician: …Um, none. They are boys

At first I was upset. We wanted one of each. I’ve had time to get used to it and it’s growing on me. I’m just so happy that they are healthy and growing well! That’s all I was really praying for. And, not only are they both boys, they are identical. Wow! Somehow, we went from not wanting kids, to getting pregnant the first time, to twins, to the rarest form of twins - Two Boys! God is smiling and laughing at us!

Who says doctors aren't comedians?

I had my 19 week appt with the doc last week. My doctor, who has been my ob/ gyn for 15 years, thinks he’s funny too! Not only does he still laugh and say “twins!” when he sees me, he was looking at my weight gain and made this comment:

Doc: Try to watch the caloric beverage intake

Me: Um, I don’t drink anything that has calories

Doc: Oh, I was trying to be delicate and start with something easy

Me: It’s ok. I know. I gained 4 pounds in one week. It wasn’t juice. It was ribs, fish sticks, a hamburger and sweet potato french fries

He isn’t really concerned about my weight gain overall, just that I put on 10 pounds since last time I saw him. Come on, the babies got bigger too :) Plus, I was wearing more clothes this visit.
I had a hard time with the amount of calories I was told to consume for the babies. The 300 each. I panicked one week and thought I wasn’t eating enough. Obviously I was wrong! But, now I know and have been doing fine. Not gaining more than a pound a week if that. I’m still eating enough for the babies to get what they want, but not indulging in all the things I haven’t eaten in 8 years in a weeks time. Who says weight watchers doesn’t get in your head?

People Suck

I know, I am always saying how much I hate people but it's true. Just when I think they are ok some stupid person opens up their mouth and says something to remind me why I hate people.

For example:

The stupid check out girl at Motherhood: So, you're carrying twins? (my mother told everyone in the store) They did tell you that you will be much bigger than if you were carrying one baby, right? So you should be fine with your bottoms, but you will need bigger shirts for later.

Me: Um, yes, I think I've figured that out.

The stupid check out girl at Motherhood: Do you work?

Me: (confused at her question) Yes.

The stupid bitch at Motherhood: Oh, because I notice that you are only buying casual clothes and I was just curious why you didn't get anything business attire.

Me: Well lucky for me I get to wear jeans and t-shirts to work (insert my fake smile).

The stupid bitch at Motherhood: Oh, that's great!

Even my mother wanted to reach across the counter and smack her.

~~~~~~

I'm 18 weeks pregnant and not really that big yet and I work with only 5 other people. All men. Well, boys is what I usually call them. The oldest one, who is married and has a few daughters actually said this to me last week:

Him: Wow, you're already waddling like you're pregnant

Me: Um, nope, my back is just hurting a little this morning.

Him: Oh! So, you've gained what? 15 pounds?

Me: Fuck you. (and I walked away)

See - stupid people everywhere. I wonder how they survive.

Maternity Shopping!

I finally went maternity clothes shopping. My mom and I made a day of it; shopping and lunch. We went to RA where I ate pretend sushi. I miss sushi! I miss saki too :) Anyway, then we were off shopping! This was the best day I've had shopping since I was a little girl (except the day I found my wedding dress). I tried on tons of clothes and wasn't the least bit upset if I had to ask for a larger size! Ususally that would make me cry. So what if I fit into an XL. I also fit into a L. Just depends on the fit and the store. I also realized that they make really, really ugly maternity shirts. What's with the bright, floral shit? It's just horrible. I stuck with black, white, and red and mostly just t shirts. I did buy a few dressy shirts just for fun. AND, I found a bikini top big enough to fit my F's and it has underwire. I was jumping up and down at Sears! I ended up with about 10 pair of pants and 4 or 5 shirts. I'm really excited to have clothes that fit my growing belly.

Thank you, MOM!

Kissing My Waistline Goodbye!

I've made it 15 weeks and am still in my own clothes. But, sad to say, they are a little tight around the belly so it's time to do some shopping! I've struggled with my weight my entire life but for some reason I've always had a flat stomach and an un-natural waist line :) Well, those days are over and yes, it is a little sad and weird, but also very exciting. Right now it just looks like I had too many beers and wings, but hopefully soon it will look more like what it's supposed to look like!

Of course, the loving husband had to put his two cents in, "You are going to get back to what you looked like before you got pregnant right after the babies are born, right?!?" Oh yes, honey. I'll get right on that while I'm trying to take care of 2 babies and you.


Thank you AJ for the bellyband, I can breathe much easier today because of it!

Men say stupid things sometimes

My husband, Tim, is a really great person. He’s smart, loving, good looking, laid back, even tempered and sweet. But, he is not funny. Here are a few things that my supportive husband said to me this week:


Are you going to get post-partum depression? Well, if you do, can you stop it before it happens? (sure thing, honey, I’ll just meditate really hard and stop the surge of hormone’s)

I was talking about not wanting to go into labor at work because I work with a bunch of guys and I’m worried they won’t be calm enough to get me to the hospital.
I said, “I guess I can just call an ambulance”
Tim said “Hell no, do you know how expensive that is. You can just drive yourself”
Me “WTF? You’re fucking kidding right?”
Tim “No, it’s not like it’s going to hurt that badly at the beginning, you can just drive yourself”

I continue to argue the facts about how the contractions hit every 20, 10, 5 minutes or whatever and that if I’m driving I could crash and kill myself. He stands firm that I should drive myself because the pain won’t be that bad. I can just suck it up and suffer until I get there. In the movies, the women don’t look like they are in too much pain. REALLY? In the movies? Wow. Maybe I should move 'smart' farther down the list. Poor Timmy. Anyone want to volunteer to drive me to the hospital?