Kids say the funniest things...

Watching Little Einsteins and the 3 little pigs are flying airplanes and get stuck in Adagio.

Charlie says, "Oh no, Mommy. The pigs are stuck in Adagio, help them!"

Zane is getting ready to sneeze so I hold up his blanket. He sneezes and lifts up his blanket and says, "Mommy, where did my Bless You go?"

It's officially Summer!

It's summer and we're ready to swim! I find the "getting ready" process just hilarious. They patiently sit and wait for their turn and stand, spin, look up, look down, sit again. They look like they are ready for battle.

They love the water and are kicking their feet and moving their arms and trying to swim. It's so damn cute to watch. And, of course they keep their mouths open and drink half the pool water.

"Mama, pool!" "Mama, outside" "Mama, wa wa" It's going to be a long summer!

Funny boys

Charlie and Zane contuniously amaze me. Their latest:

Saying "bye, Mama" everytime I walk out of the room. Every time!

Hearing a plane "Bye, plane" "hi, plane"

Hearing my moms car horn lock the doors "Hi, Grandma"

Hearing the garbage can "Hi, Dada"

When Sesame Street is over, "Bye, Elmo"

Our first night!

We brought the babies home from the hospital yesterday! We have a co-sleeper for them to sleep in that's next to me. Tim brought them up one at a time ( i can't lift too much) and put them in the co-sleeper. Zane, our resident puker decided to spit up and freak himself and me out! Thank God we had the sucker (ball syringe) and were able to suck the formula out of his mouth. But, he had something stuck in his nose too. Our first successful bugger extraction! He didn't even mind having the sucker stuffed into his little nostril. Whew, first tragedy avoided! But....I was nervous the rest of the night so I didn't sleep much. Around the 3am feeding, Tim was changing Zane and he had pooped...BUT he was still pooping when Tim switched the diapers and all of a sudden Tim says "He just shat" and I look over and it's still coming out all over the changing pad cover!! I started to laugh uncontrollably and it still hurts my abdomen to laugh. Tim asks for help and I jump up to help him. He gets poop on his hand and freaks out. I grab Zane and clean the poop off the cover and Tim rushes to the bathroom to wash his hands. Oy! (I'm still laughing right now as I type this)

Later Zane peed himself and I had to go downstairs for a new gown and a new blanket. He did that twice! He also pooped again and Charlie followed his example and pooped around 5am. Wowzas! Boogies, poop, pee, outfit changes, spit up.....all on the first night?!?!? Really! Not sure if I should be worried about what might happen tonight!

The big day!

July 20th was the big day! My C Section wasn't scheduled until 8pm and we had to be there at 6. I had to stop drinking and eating 8 hours prior to my arrival time. No water, gum or candy. That was brutal. Tim and I just sat here all day looking at each other :)

We got to the hospital, did all the fun intake paperwork and went back to a room before I went into surgery. They put monitors on the babies and to track if I was having contractions. The anaesthesiologist came in to give me the details of the giant needle and what I should expect once we got into the delivery room. About and hour after we were there the nurse realized that I had my toe rings on and were concerned that when my feet swelled up afterward they could be a problem and I could possibly lose my toe!! OMG! So, I tried to get them off. Tim tried to get them off. Dr. Grayson tried to get them off. Nothing! We finally had to call someone from the ER with a little circular saw to come and cut them off my toe. It was hilarious! It took almost 30 minutes but it took my mind off what was about to happen.

I got to see my family and friends before I went in which helped a lot! Tim got these stylish paper greens to wear that were crusty and bright blue! They wheeled me into the OR and sat me on the side of the bed to do the epidural/anaesthesia injection. What an enormous needle! Quite painful but over very quickly. There were about 12 people in the room with us; a team from the NICU for each baby, nurses, doctor and the anaesthesiologists. I couldn't feel anything but a slight tugging which was very strange. Tim stood up and watched the entire thing! I was watching his eyes for his reaction and it was freaking me out! He said it was all very cool! When they cut me open the doc commented on how little fat I had around my abdomen and I chimed in with "flip me over, it's all on my ass" It was weird to be laying there behind a curtain being cut open while having a conversation with the doc and nurses. Doctor Grayson peeked over the curtain to talk to me a handful of times just to check on me and tell me what was going on.

Tim got to see them take each baby out and cut their cords. Zane (Baby A) came out pretty quickly, but Charlie (Baby B) didn't want to come out. He was feet first and ass up! They actually laughed. I could feel and hear the doc tugging to get him out. Tim got to leave with the babies to the NICU but the neo-natologist told us first that they were doing well!! Just a precaution for preemies. It took the doc and nurses about 30 min to put me back together again. I got to listen to them talk while they worked. The anaesthesiologist has gout and is building a car. They spoke just like any group of people who work together on a regular basis. When it was over they told me how great it all went and how I did a wonderful job. They took me back to recovery and I waited for Tim or anyone to come and see me and no one did. I sat back there with the nurse for over an hour! He was with the babies and taking people one at a time to see them. I did get some ice to chew on and was thrilled about that. I didn't have any side effects of the drugs and the nurses were amazed that I was eating cups of ice and drinking water. I was told I was a model patient! I got to see the babies before I went to my room which was very weird!! It was better than I expected and a wonderful, cool experience! The most painful thing about the entire thing was cutting the damn toe rings off!!

24 hours and counting!

This is the last 24 hours of my pregnancy! I'm very nervous for my c-section and just trying to relax and rest. I really did enjoy being pregnant and I believe I will miss certain aspects of it.

I'll miss.....

Feeling them move
Growing two miracles inside me
Having weekly ultrasounds and seeing them grow
Not having to do dishes at my moms house :)


I won't miss.....

Having to pee every hour all day and night
The first trimester acne
Heartburn and acid reflux
Being hot (hoping my body temp goes back to normal)
Worrying that they are ok in there

I can still....

Tie my shoes
Shave my legs
Wear my rings

and I still have ankles!

34 weeks

I had my last ob/gyn appt. today and BPP. The babies and the fluid look good! One of them is still smaller but the doc isn't too worried. We are on for Monday night!! That's less than a week. OMG! I'm excited and nervous and totally freaked out! The doc answered my c section questions so I feel better about that part. We have to wait until they are born to see if they will need to be in the nursery during our hospital stay. If so, Tim or I will have to escort people into the nursery to see the boys. They will be in a room with out windows so no one can even just go look. :( I'm hoping they won't be in there long so they can be in the room with me! Otherwise there are going be a lot of unhappy friends that will have to wait until we bring them home.

33 weeks

I had my 33 week doctor appt and growth ultrasound yesterday. One of the boys is taking slight advantage of the other (their weights differ by 7 oz) The doc isn't very concerned, but this isn't wonderful news. We are going to keep doing what we are doing with my weekly ultrasounds and non stress tests and hope and pray that they behave for the next 2 weeks. So, it looks like July 20th is the day! I'll be 35 weeks and as long as everything goes well until then, everything should be good! The only concern is that the babies need to regulate their own temperature or they will not be able to come home right away. We don't want that. :(

Good news: No preterm labor. I'm feeling pretty good and getting lots of rest. The doc says to keep swimming and stay hydrated.

My dad and sister came with me to the ultrasound. He's never seen one and I think he really enjoyed it. They also talked to the doc with me. I always like others to hear what I hear so I don't make shit up! Except my dad got to hear the question " Any vaginal discharge" HA. poor guy :)

32 weeks

Doctor appointments are now once a week, thank God. Next week I'll be having another fetal fibronectin test for preterm labor and since the test is good for 2 weeks, that brings me to the 20th. So, I may know my c section date next Tuesday! WOO HOO! I was also told by the doc that I need to eat more food and drink more caloric beverages. Never thought that would happen!! It's hot as hell here and I can't eat a lot at one sitting, but I am eating. Not sure why I haven't gained any weight in the last few weeks. But, I'm trying to eat more and drink more since it's better for the babies.

It's very real now and I'm getting very nervous!!

Maternity Triage - 30 weeks

So, we made our first and hopefully last visit to the maternity triage center. I was having my weekly NST and they said I was having contractions. I didn't feel anything at all, but they called to check with the doc anyway. She sent me over to triage to get checked out. Of course it was the first week that I went to the appt by myself! Since I wasn't in any pain I drove myself (it's only 2 seconds away) But, I had to call Tim and tell him to come to the hospital in the calmest possible way. I checked myself in and sat and waited. It only took Tim 15 minutes to get there and when he did I was hooked up to the fetal heart monitors and the contraction monitor. He looked frazzled and I was totally freaked out. Neither one of us has been through this before and had no idea what was going to happen. She explained the tests they were going to do. The fetal fibronectin, check my cervix and monitor me for a while.

Fetal fibronectin - they take a swab to check for the absense of this protein which indicates with a 99% accuracy that you're not in preterm labor. They use a giant cotton swab to swab the inside of your business. Kicker is, they have to leave it in there for one minute. OY! Before she did the test she asked if we'd had sex in the last 24 hours (apparently, that can cause a false positive) I answered "Um, no. Not in the last 4 weeks" and of course, Tim had a comment from behind the curtain.

Cervix check - ok, this one I know but since I was all hooked up to monitors and laying on my left side on a horrible bed with no stirrups I wasn't sure how the exam was going to happen. Let me tell you, this was very, very painful! She laid the bed back and I had to hold my leg up while she attempted to reach my cervix. In that position the cervix is far away and in a weird ass angle. Needless to say was she could not reach it and had to call another nurse in to try. So, I had to endure this fun twice! The second nurse tried harder and that hurt worse. She could barely find it which turned into a good thing since it obviously wasn't dilated at all.

Tim stayed behind the curtain for all this fun. I could just see his shoes and he could hear me in pain. Definitely not something I'm looking forward to repeating.

While we waited for the results of the test we just sat there and looked at each other. Every few minutes the alarm would sound that one baby moved and was no longer on the heart monitor. They'd come in and find him and leave. After about an hour of that, the first nurse came back in with a small needle. Terbutaline. She said "it's a small needle, but I hear it has a big sting." It's used to stop contractions altogether and if it works quickly it means no preterm labor and I get to go home. Well, mother effer! She wasn't kidding about the sting. I couldn't tell which was worse the cervix check or the shot. Ugh! Within 5 minutes I was jumpy and shaking. Fun side effects of the shot.

15 minutes later she came back with the results. Contractions stopped, fetal fibronectin negative. Woo hoo! She was sending us home! She said that she thought the doc was being overly cautious since I wasn't in any pain, wasn't bleeding or leaking fluid, but the doc said to do the tests so they have to do them. She said "we'd like to keep you pregnant for another 5 weeks." Exactly what we were thinking!

So, after 2 hours I was totally fine. Wasn't in labor and the babies weren't in any danger. Thank God!

29 weeks - Big NEWS!

I had my 29 week appointments this week. Another Biophysical Profile and an appointment with my doctor. Babies are doing very well! No growth updates until next week but I got to see Baby A put his toes in his mouth and Baby B suck his thumb. So damn cute! Lisa had to measure the foot when it was up by his mouth because it looked huge; it's 2 inches. Wowzas!

Not quite as funny as seeing Baby A grab his "boy parts" as Lisa calls them. My mom was there last week to witness that one! They sure do start early :)

My glucose tolerance test came back normal as did my iron and a few other things. The doc is very pleased with how the pregnancy is going and I have to agree :) We also talked about possible c section dates. We'll know more in a few weeks but it looks like they will be coming early. Our 2 tentative dates are July 20th or 30th!! OMG!!! The doc said that once the lungs are formed there isn't any reason for me to stay pregnant. That's good and bad news. We are NOT ready. They don't have names and the nursery is not done. It's making me very anxious! But, at least I won't have to worry those last few weeks.

And the fun begins!

Starting this week I have to go to the doctor twice a week to monitor the boys. Tuesday's to my doctors office for the Biophysical Profile(measures heart rate, movement, fluid, muscle tone and breathing) and Friday's to the hospital for the Non Stress Test. It's all very cool. Gotta love preventative medicine! I love that I don't have time to worry about them because I go so often, but I still worry every time I go that something will go wrong or be bad. Will the worry ever end?!?!

The other day, I drove myself completely insane worrying about having contractions. I wasn't even having any, but the books say that you should be paying attention to them. So, I laid on my side and kept my hand on my belly to see how many times in an hour it got hard. Problem is, when you push on the babies they push back so my belly got hard. I wasn't having any symptoms of ANYTHING, but I was driving myself out of my mind. I wanted to stab myself and get it over with! Tim isn't allowed to work until 9pm anymore. I can't be left alone that long with my own thoughts!

Registering

So, I finally registered and it wasn't as fun as it thought it would be. It was too overwhelming; there's just so much stuff to look at. But, at least it's over and I got a good parking spot :)

thanks Meg, Kristyn and Mom!

Awe, Baby Gifts!

Timmy bought our first Denver Bronco baby gifts. They are so damn cute! He seemed really excited and it made it all feel a little more real.

24 weeks!

Wow, time flies!

I had my 24 week ultrasound appt. today. I brought my mom with me this time since Tim was at work. It went really well. Babies are growing perfectly. Each weighing a pound and a half and right on track. Moving around like crazy and posing for more pics!

Ultrasound tech: Did you come up with names yet?

Me: Nope. Tim doesn't like anything

Ultrasound tech: Still? Haha.

Then she told my mom the story of when she told us we were having twins. She remembered our shock and also the shock of finding out they are 2 boys. I love that she remembers us! My mom was pretty excited to see them in action. I think she cried; I know I did. She already thinks they are cute!

We got to see one of the babies open it's mouth and swallow. It's so bizarre.

Me: Tim thinks it's gross that they swallow the amniotic fluid

Ultrasound tech: Tell Tim that he did it too. Every baby does.

Me: I did and I told him that's how they learn to swallow.

Ultrasound tech: Does Tim know they are also swallowing baby urine?

Me: Um, NO. I don't share that much with him. He doesn't need to know :) You should have seen his reaction to the vaginal discharge section of the book. HA!

She laughed, of course :)

My Boys!

The pros of having 2 boys:

They can’t get pregnant (this was Tim's)
We don’t have to pay for a wedding
No teenage girl drama
I never have to lift anything heavy again
I can leave on Sunday and let them all watch football
I get to call them and Tim, “My boys!” ?(this is the best one!)

The cons of having 2 boys:

I don’t get to buy girlie clothes and shoes
I never get to buy anything purple, pink, or yellow or with cute flowers on it
I don’t get to pass on my make up tips
I don't get to be Mother of the Bride

Oh Boys!

We had another ultrasound this week where we found out the sex of the babies. Since we already knew that one was a boy, we were hopeful that the other would be a girl. Since it was our 19 week ultrasound it was very detailed. She checked the hearts to make sure there were 4 chambers, the blood flow around the bladders, measured the heads, femurs and arm bones for growth. It was a wonderful, amazing experience. They were moving around like crazy! Kicking, punching, moving their hands. We even saw Baby B move his mouth. One of them curls up in a ball with his hands by his head like me and the other stretched out with his feet crossed like Tim.

Ultrasound technician: Ok, let’s see what we can find out. Ah, there it is.
Me: What?
Ultrasound technician: The penis.
Me: Oh. Is that what that is?

While we were looking at the skull of Baby A, Baby B decided to move in and flash us. Yep, you guessed it; another penis.

Tim: YAY!
Me: Son of a bitch!
Ultrasound Technician: Awe, you guys are so funny!
Tim: Woo hoo! (I think he actually did a dance)
Me: Oh, shut up!
Ultrasound Technician: 2 boys! You’ll love it
Me: Sure, they won’t help do any housework and when they grow up they will leave and never call their mother
Ultrasound Technician: My brother is 39 and he calls my mother every day
Me: Not that I don’t trust you and think you are great at your job, but what are the chances that one will end up being a girl?
Ultrasound Technician: …Um, none. They are boys

At first I was upset. We wanted one of each. I’ve had time to get used to it and it’s growing on me. I’m just so happy that they are healthy and growing well! That’s all I was really praying for. And, not only are they both boys, they are identical. Wow! Somehow, we went from not wanting kids, to getting pregnant the first time, to twins, to the rarest form of twins - Two Boys! God is smiling and laughing at us!

Who says doctors aren't comedians?

I had my 19 week appt with the doc last week. My doctor, who has been my ob/ gyn for 15 years, thinks he’s funny too! Not only does he still laugh and say “twins!” when he sees me, he was looking at my weight gain and made this comment:

Doc: Try to watch the caloric beverage intake

Me: Um, I don’t drink anything that has calories

Doc: Oh, I was trying to be delicate and start with something easy

Me: It’s ok. I know. I gained 4 pounds in one week. It wasn’t juice. It was ribs, fish sticks, a hamburger and sweet potato french fries

He isn’t really concerned about my weight gain overall, just that I put on 10 pounds since last time I saw him. Come on, the babies got bigger too :) Plus, I was wearing more clothes this visit.
I had a hard time with the amount of calories I was told to consume for the babies. The 300 each. I panicked one week and thought I wasn’t eating enough. Obviously I was wrong! But, now I know and have been doing fine. Not gaining more than a pound a week if that. I’m still eating enough for the babies to get what they want, but not indulging in all the things I haven’t eaten in 8 years in a weeks time. Who says weight watchers doesn’t get in your head?

People Suck

I know, I am always saying how much I hate people but it's true. Just when I think they are ok some stupid person opens up their mouth and says something to remind me why I hate people.

For example:

The stupid check out girl at Motherhood: So, you're carrying twins? (my mother told everyone in the store) They did tell you that you will be much bigger than if you were carrying one baby, right? So you should be fine with your bottoms, but you will need bigger shirts for later.

Me: Um, yes, I think I've figured that out.

The stupid check out girl at Motherhood: Do you work?

Me: (confused at her question) Yes.

The stupid bitch at Motherhood: Oh, because I notice that you are only buying casual clothes and I was just curious why you didn't get anything business attire.

Me: Well lucky for me I get to wear jeans and t-shirts to work (insert my fake smile).

The stupid bitch at Motherhood: Oh, that's great!

Even my mother wanted to reach across the counter and smack her.

~~~~~~

I'm 18 weeks pregnant and not really that big yet and I work with only 5 other people. All men. Well, boys is what I usually call them. The oldest one, who is married and has a few daughters actually said this to me last week:

Him: Wow, you're already waddling like you're pregnant

Me: Um, nope, my back is just hurting a little this morning.

Him: Oh! So, you've gained what? 15 pounds?

Me: Fuck you. (and I walked away)

See - stupid people everywhere. I wonder how they survive.